The Adventures of Alice and Traan
by Wynter Spite
Summary: A Cyberman meets a Dalek, they team up, and nothing is ever the same again.
1. Alice in the Asylum of the Daleks

**Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. Though (and here I am gleeful to announce) Alice and Traan are mine.**

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><p>The last of the Cyberplanner's Cybermen materialized inside an asylum.<p>

A Dalek Asylum, to be exact.

Being the only Cyberman to have somehow escaped the explosion, it had no way of contacting any other Cybermen, for it was cut off from the Cybermind. Considering it was also in the room of one particular Dalek, it also had no way of predicting just what was about to happen.

The Dalek moved forward from the corner of the room, the chains holding it having rusted away. "Ex-terrr . . . min-ate," it clanked.

The Cyberman moved to face it. "You are Dalek," it said mechanically.

"Cyber-man," the Dalek rasped. "Ex-ter . . ."

"You are not compatible," the Cyberman uttered. "You will be deleted."

"I-I am Dalek-k Traan," it cracked. "You are tress-p-passing on the Dalek Asylum."

"Dalek Asylum," the Cyberman repeated. "Why am I here?"

"Explain."

"I am not meant to be here."

"Alice in Ww-wonderland," the Dalek crackled.

"Please clarify."

"The Librarian cont-tributed information," it said. "A novel. Title: 'Alice in Wonderland.' She was not-t meant to be there, aa-s well."

The book, graciously handed over by an insane Dalek who went by the name of 'the Librarian', had been picked up again months ago. It had then been left in another room, only to be found by another psychotic Dalek who, upon reading the first page, then descended into madness once again. It could be heard shouting "Explain! Explain! EXPLAINNNN!" for hours upon days before, finally, it self-destructed.

Too much imagination. It couldn't take the sheer weirdness of the thing.

Dalek Traan, the last of the Cult of Skaro, had been able to withstand the oddness. It was one of the most imaginative Daleks you could ever find. The most imaginative, actually. You wouldn't find another Dalek willing to discuss . . . well, anything, in fact. It was, quite simply, the most reasonable Dalek in the universe.

And it had just happened upon the most reasonable Cyberman to ever exist.

"You are knowledgeable," it spoke. "You will come with me."

"You cann-not escape," Dalek Traan said. "The Asylum is ss-shielded."

"You will be updated," the Cyberman responded. "We will leave."

"Why?"

"Please clarify."

"I am Dd-dalek. You are Cyberman. We are advers-ssaries. Why would I go with you?"

"We are compatible," it answered.

"Explain."

"We are compatible."

"Explain," Dalek Traan insisted.

"We are compatible."

"Then y-you will have a name," Traan crackled.

"Clarify."

"You will not be unnamed."

"Cybermen do not have names."

"You will not be unnamed."

There was silence. Then the Cyberman said, "Cybermen do not have names."

Somehow, Traan seemed to understand just what the metal-man was saying.

"Alice in Wonderland."

"Alice is a female name. I am a Cyberman."

"Alice."

"Then it is decided."

And so it was that a Cyberman named Alice escaped from the Dalek Asylum with one of its inhabitants. This should have been impossible, but as it was not, something-a very powerful something-must have let them through. They also stole a Dalek spaceship, but as no one was using it at the time, it hardly mattered. And considering the fact that no one would ever suspect a Dalek had gotten out of the Asylum, it would continue to remain a mystery. Problem solved.

If Alice and Traan had been just a little bit more human, they would have thrilled at the look on the Doctor's face when the Cyberman was introduced.

("I am Alice."

The Doctor gaped.

Inside, Traan was laughing deliriously. Or he would have been, if Daleks laughed, deliriously or otherwise.)


	2. The Time of the Not Quite Sure

**Disclaimer. Doctor Who not mine. The same cannot be said for Alice and Traan. My babies! *Grabs them and holds them tight. Is then deleted and/or exterminated. Probably not best idea in world.***

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><p>"Alert, alert," Alice the Cyberman intoned. "The Christmas dinner is ready."<p>

"Why did you make Christmas dinner?" Traan the Dalek asked in static-like tones.

"It is Christmas."

"Why did you make Christmas dinner?" Traan repeated.

"Earth has knowledge. Knowledge is power. I updated my databanks. It is Christmas. Christmas dinner is required."

The dinner was put on the table by Alice. He-it-sat down in a chair. Traan, being a Dalek, had no need of a chair, as he had no legs to speak of. Unfortunately, considering both Traan and Alice had no stomachs, they couldn't eat the food. They sat there and watched it instead.

Eventually, everything went cold. And that was how Christmas was spent. Whilst the Doctor was off saving another world once again, Alice and Traan were watching their dinner as if there was the slightest possibility that it would jump up and take over the Dalek spaceship.

All in all, it could have been a bit more exciting, but as neither Alice nor Traan could feel any such emotion, they didn't care either way.

Basically, the Doctor won the Thrilling Award by miles.


End file.
